【台語世界／錄音】父親節－憶較早目中Ê老爸

文、錄音／陳俐雯 Tân Lī-bûn

Koh無幾工就是父親節，一般人佮意用勇士、巨人á-sī山來形容老爸tī家己心目中ê形款，kap老爸對家庭ê重要性。M̄-koh自我有記持以來，老爸兩字一直就是暴力ê代名詞。

較早無啥家暴法、兒少法chia保護人權ê法律，若拄著家暴無法度離開就是吞忍。阮老爸是標準雷公性，tī阮兜只要是伊無歡喜、無佮意ê，伊講就準算，起歹lóng免理由。Só͘-pái自細漢阮兄弟姊妹to是tī情緒失控kap暴力ê環境teh過日子，三工兩工看爸母搬武俠戲是四常ê代誌。雖bóng chiâⁿ m̄甘老母不時hō͘老爸拍kah烏青激血，m̄-koh阮猶細漢無法度保護老母這是hiàng-sî時上無ta-ôa ê心情，逐工lóng恨bē得睏醒就變chiâⁿ正義判官。

隨著日子一冬一冬過，落tī老母身上ê拳頭母phēng無減少。老爸猶原厚性地，磕bē著to giâ- -起來四界放火開銃，規間厝無一時仔平靜。讀冊ê時陣有這款老爸心情chiâⁿ怨慼，我怨恨家己出世tī這款家庭，怨嘆是按怎我無好ê爸母；我欣羨同學lóng有正常ê家庭，是按怎我無？這款吵吵鬧鬧ê「家」hō͘人失望，kan-na想beh趕緊脫離。

畢業了後性命經過磨煉，對人和關係有一寡體悟，知影咱人無可能上正(完美無缺點)，就算老爸bat用暴力傷害過厝- -ni̍h每一个人。阮願意加一屑仔「了解」去理解伊是按怎kan-na會曉用暴力來解決代誌，減采是伊成長tī無「愛」ê家庭，才hō͘伊變成一个m̄知影beh按怎「愛」ê人。

以前若想著老爸只有滿腹憤怒，經過歲月牽教kap學習，阮知影每一个性命beh tī世間生存lóng無簡單。雖bóng bē當講伊過去暴力行為是對- -ê，m̄-koh理解ê心為pit-sûn ê關係chhōe著和解ê路，知影老爸只是用伊會曉ê方法teh生活和生存。

Koh來到父親節這个節日ah！老爸，祝你父親節喜樂平安。

台灣字（白話字）版
Hū-Chhin-Cheh － Ek Khah-Chá Ba̍k-Tiong Ê Lāu-Pē

Koh bô-kúi-kang chiū sī hū-chhin-cheh. It-poaⁿ-lâng kah-ì iōng ióng-sū, kī-jîn á-sī soaⁿ lâi hêng-iông lāu-pē tī ka-kī sim ba̍k tiong ê hêng-khoán, hām lāu-pē tùi ka-têng ê tiōng-iàu-sèng. M̄-koh chū góa ū kì-tî í-lâi, lāu-pē nn̄g-jī it-ti̍t chiū sī pō-le̍k ê tāi-miâ-sû.

Khah-chá bô siáⁿ Ka- po̍k-hoat, Jî-siáu-hoat chia pó-hō͘ jîn-khoân ê hoat-lu̍t. Nā tú-tio̍h ka-po̍k bô-hoat-tō͘ lī-khui chiū sī thun-jún. Gún lāu-pē sī phiau-chún lûi-kong-sèng. Tī gún tau chí-iàu sī i bô-hoaⁿ-hí, bô-kah-ì- -ê, i kóng chiū chún-sǹg, khí-pháiⁿ lóng bián lí-iû. Só͘-pái chū sè-hàn gún hiaⁿ-tī chí-mōe to sī tī chêng-sū sit-khòng kap po̍k-le̍k ê khoân-kéng teh kòe ji̍t-chí. Saⁿ-kang nn̄g-kang khòaⁿ pē-bú poaⁿ bú-kiap-hì sī sù-siông ê tāi-chì. Sui-bóng chiâⁿ m̄-kam lāu-bú put-sî hō͘ lāu-pē phah kah o͘-chheⁿ kek-hoeh, m̄-koh gún iáu sè-hàn bô-hoat-tō͘ pó-hō͘ lāu-bú, Che sī hiàng-sî siōng bô-ta-ôa ê sim-chêng. Ta̍k-kang lóng hūn-bē-tit khùn-chhéⁿ chiū piàn-chiâⁿ chèng-gī phòaⁿ-koaⁿ.

Sûi-tio̍h ji̍t-chí chi̍t-tang chi̍t-tang kòe, lo̍h tī lāu-bú sin-siōng ê kûn-thâu-bú phēng bô kiám-chió. Lāu-pē iû-goân kāu-sèng-tē, khap-bē-tio̍h to giâ- -khí-lâi sì-kè pàng-hóe khui-chhèng, kui-keng-chhù bô chi̍t-sî-á pêng-chēng. Tha̍k-chheh ê sî-chūn ū chit-khoán lāu-pē sim-chêng chiâⁿ oàn-chheh. Góa oàn-hūn ka-kī chhut-sì tī chit-khoán ka-têng, oàn-thàn sī án-chóaⁿ góa bô hó ê pē-bú; góa him-siān tông-o̍h lóng ū chèng-siông ê ka-têng, sī án-chóaⁿ góa-bô? Chit-khoán chhá-chhá-nāu-nāu ê “Ke” hō͘-lâng sit-bōng, kan-na siūⁿ-beh kóaⁿ-kín thoat-lī.

Pit-gia̍p liáu-āu sèⁿ-miā keng-kòe bôa-liān, tùi lâng hām koan-hē ū chi̍t-kóa thé-ngō͘, chai-iáⁿ lán-lâng bô-khó-lêng chiūⁿ-chiàⁿ (Oân-bí bô khoat-tiám). Chiū sǹg lāu-pē bat iōng po̍k-le̍k siong-hāi kòe chhù- -ni̍h múi-chi̍t-ê lâng, gún goān-ì ke chi̍t-sut-á “Liáu-kái” khì lí-kái i sī àn-chóaⁿ kan-na ē-hiáu iōng po̍k-le̍k lâi kái-koat tāi-chì. Kiám-chhái sī i sêng-tióng tī bô “Ài” ê ka-têng, chiah hō͘ i piàn-sêng chi̍t-ê m̄-chai-iáⁿ beh án-chóaⁿ “Ài” ê lâng.

Í-chêng nā siūⁿ-tio̍h lāu-pē chí-ū móa-pak hùn-lō͘. Keng-kòe sòe-goa̍t khan-kà kap ha̍k-si̍p, gún chai-iáⁿ múi-chi̍t-ê sèⁿ-miā beh tī sè-kan seng-chûn lóng bô kán-tan. Sui-bóng bē-tàng kóng i kòe-khì po̍k-le̍k hêng-ūi sī tio̍h- -ê, m̄-koh lí-kái ê sim ūi pit-sûn ê koan-hē chhōe-tio̍h hô-kái ê lō͘, chai-iáⁿ lāu-pē chí-sī iōng i ē-hiáu ê hong-hoat teh seng-oa̍h hām seng-chûn.

Koh lâu kàu hū-chhin-cheh chit-ê cheh-ji̍t ah! Lāu-pē, chiok lí Hū-chhin-cheh hí-lo̍k pêng-an.

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